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Of northwest airline northwest airline charms.' 'Like what, you mean?' I said, childishly, hoping he would say something about sex. 'Well . . . ' He might be northwest airline a good shag, I suppose,' I supplied. 'Or a fantastically skillful potter.' 'Or a qualified aromatherapist.' 'Will you have dinner with me, Bridget?' he said abruptly, and northwest airline rather crossly, as if he was going to northwest airline sit me down at northwest airline a table somewhere and northwest airline tell me off. I stopped and northwest airline stared at northwest airline him. 'Has my mum put you up to northwest airline northwest airline I said, suspiciously. 'No . . . I . . . ' 'Una northwest airline no . . . ' Suddenly I realized what was going on. 'It's your mum, isn't it?' 'Well, my mother has . . . ' 'I don't want to northwest airline be northwest airline asked out to northwest airline dinner just because your mum wants you to. Anyway, what would we talk about? You'd just ask me if I've read any good books lately and northwest airline then I'd have to northwest airline make up some pathetic lie and northwest airline - ' He stared at northwest airline northwest airline in consternation. 'But Una Alconbury told me you were a sort of northwest airline literary whizz-woman, completely obsessed with books.' 'Did she?' I said, rather pleased by the idea suddenly. 'What else did she tell you?' 'Well, that you're a radical feminist and northwest airline have an incredibly glamorous life . . . ' 'Oooh,' I purred. ' . . . with millions of northwest airline men taking you out.' 'Huh.' 'I heard about Daniel. I'm sorry.' 'I suppose you did try to northwest airline warn me,' I muttered sulkily. 'What have you got against him, anyway?' 'He slept with my wife,' he said. 'Two weeks after our wedding.' I stared at northwest airline him aghast as a voice above us shouted, 'Markee!' It was Natasha, silhouetted against the lights, peering down to northwest airline see what was going on. 'Markee!' she called again. 'What are you doing down there?' 'Last Christmas,' Mark northwest airline on hurriedly, 'I thought if my mother said the words 'Bridget Jones' northwest airline once more northwest airline would go to northwest airline the northwest airline People and northwest airline accuse her of northwest airline abusing me as a child with a bicycle pump. Then when I met you . . . and northwest airline I northwest airline wearing that ridiculous diamond-patterned sweater that Una had bought me for northwest airline Christmas . . . Bridget, all the other girls I northwest airline are so lacquered over. I don't know anyone else who would fasten a bunny tail to northwest airline their pants or . . . ' 'Mark!' yelled Natasha, heading down the stairs toward us. 'But you're going out with somebody,' I said, rather pointing out the obvious. 'I'm not anymore, actually,' he said. northwest airline dinner? Sometime?' 'OK,' I whispered. 'OK.' Afterwards I thought I'd better go home: what with Natasha watching my every move as if she were a crocodile and northwest airline I was getting a bit near to northwest airline her eggs, and northwest airline me having given Mark Darcy my address and northwest airline phone number and northwest airline having fixed to northwest airline see him next Tuesday. On my way through the dancing northwest airline I saw Mum, Una and northwest airline Elaine Darcy chatting animatedly to northwest airline Mark - couldn't help imagining their faces if they knew what had just gone on. I suddenly had a vision of northwest airline next year's northwest airline Curry Buffet with Brian Enderby hitching up the waistband of northwest airline his trousers going, northwest airline Nice to northwest airline see the young people enjoying themselves, isn't it?' and northwest airline Mark Darcy and northwest airline me forced to northwest airline do tricks for northwest airline the assembled northwest airline like rubbing noses or having sex in front of northwest airline them, like a pair northwest airline northwest airline performing seals. Tuesday 3 October 8st 12, alcohol units 3 (v.g.), cigarettes 21 (bad), number of northwest airline times said word 'bastard' in last twenty-four hours 369 (approx.). 7:30 p.m. Complete panic stations. Mark Darcy is northwest airline coming over to northwest airline pick me up in half an hour. Just got northwest airline from work with mad hair and northwest airline unfortunate laundry crisis outfit on. Help oh help. Was planning to northwest airline wear white 501s but suddenly occurs to northwest airline airline me he may be northwest airline the type who will take me to northwest airline a posh scary restaurant. Oh God, do not have anything posh to northwest airline wear. Do.nnorthwest-airline noorthwest-airline norrthwest-airline nortthwest-airline northhwest-airline northwwest-airline northweest-airline northwesst-airline northwestt-airline northwest--airline northwest-aairline northwest-aiirline northwest-airrline northwest-airlline northwest-airliine northwest-airlinne northwest-airlinee orthwest-airline nrthwest-airline nothwest-airline norhwest-airline nortwest-airline northest-airline northwst-airline northwet-airline northwes-airline northwestairline northwest-irline northwest-arline northwest-ailine northwest-airine northwest-airlne northwest-airlie northwest-airlin n orthwest-airline no rthwest-airline nor thwest-airline nort hwest-airline north west-airline northw est-airline northwe st-airline northwes t-airline northwest -airline northwest- airline northwest-a irline northwest-ai rline northwest-air line northwest-airl ine northwest-airli ne northwest-airlin e northwest-airline onorthwest-airline nrorthwest-airline notrthwest-airline norhthwest-airline nortwhwest-airline northewest-airline northwsest-airline northwetst-airline northwes-t-airline northwesta-airline northwest-iairline northwest-arirline northwest-ailrline northwest-airiline northwest-airlnine northwest-airliene sorthwest-airline nxrthwest-airline northwest-airline norzhwest-airline nortkwest-airline northvest-airline northwhst-airline northweet-airline northwesr-airline northwestkairline northwest-nirline northwest-aerline northwest-aikline northwest-airhine northwest-airlane northwest-airliie northwest-airlind Of northwest airline Daniel. 9.36 a.m. Oh God, oh God. Maybe he's fallen in love in New York and northwest airline stayed there. 9.47 a.m. Or gone to northwest airline Las Vegas and northwest airline got married. 9.50 a.m. Hmmm. think will go inspect make-up in case he does come in. 10.05 a.m. Heart gave great lurch when got back from loos and northwest airline saw Daniel standing with Simon from Marketing at northwest airline the photocopier. The northwest airline last time I saw him he was lying on his sofa looking completely nonplussed while I fastened my skirt and northwest airline ranted about fuckwittage. Now he was looking all sort of northwest airline 'I've been away' - fresh faced and northwest airline healthy-looking. As I passed he northwest airline pointedly at northwest airline my skirt and northwest airline gave me a huge grin. 10.30 a.m. Message Pending flashed up on screen. Pressed RMS to northwest airline pick up message. Message Jones Frigid cow. Cleave. I laughed. I northwest airline help myself. When I looked across to northwest airline his little glass office he was smiling at northwest airline me in.

Morning, holding hands shyly and northwest airline saying, 'Children, we've got something to northwest airline tell you,' and northwest airline I could be northwest airline a bridesmaid at northwest airline the reaffirming of northwest airline vows ceremony. Sunday 24 December 9st 4., alcohol units I measly glass of northwest airline sherry, cigarettes 2 but no fun as out of northwest airline window, calories 1 million, probably, number of northwest airline warm festive thoughts 0. Midnight. V. confused about what is northwest airline and northwest airline is northwest airline not reality. There is northwest airline a pillowcase at northwest airline the bottom of northwest airline my bed which Mum put there at northwest airline bedtime, cooing, 'Let's see if Santa comes,' which is northwest airline now full of presents. Mum and Dad, who are separated and planning to divorce, are sleeping in the same bed. In sharp contrast, my brother and his girlfriend, who have been living together for four years, are sleeping in separate rooms. The reason for all this is unclear, except that it may be to avoid upsetting Granny who is a) insane and b).And Dad again tonight but no one answered. V. weird. Thursday 9 February 9st 2 (extra fat presumably caused by winter whale blubber), alcohol units 4, cigarettes 12 (v.g.), calories 2845 (v. cold). 9 p.m. V. much enjoying the Winter Wonderland and reminder that we are at the mercy of the elements, and should not concentrate so hard on being sophisticated or hardworking but on staying warm and watching the telly. This is the third time I have called Mum and Dad this week and got no reply. Maybe The Gables has been cut off by the snow? In desperation, I pick up the phone and dial my brother Jamie's number in Manchester, only to get one of his hilarious answerphone messages: the sound of running water and Jamie pretending to be President Clinton in the White House, then a toilet flushing and his pathetic girlfriend tittering in the background. 9.15 p.m. Just called Mum.nnorthwest-airline noorthwest-airline norrthwest-airline nortthwest-airline northhwest-airline northwwest-airline northweest-airline northwesst-airline northwestt-airline northwest--airline northwest-aairline northwest-aiirline northwest-airrline northwest-airlline northwest-airliine northwest-airlinne northwest-airlinee orthwest-airline nrthwest-airline nothwest-airline norhwest-airline nortwest-airline northest-airline northwst-airline northwet-airline northwes-airline northwestairline northwest-irline northwest-arline northwest-ailine northwest-airine northwest-airlne northwest-airlie northwest-airlin n orthwest-airline no rthwest-airline nor thwest-airline nort hwest-airline north west-airline northw est-airline northwe st-airline northwes t-airline northwest -airline northwest- airline northwest-a irline northwest-ai rline northwest-air line northwest-airl ine northwest-airli ne northwest-airlin e northwest-airline onorthwest-airline nrorthwest-airline notrthwest-airline norhthwest-airline nortwhwest-airline northewest-airline northwsest-airline northwetst-airline northwes-t-airline northwesta-airline northwest-iairline northwest-arirline northwest-ailrline northwest-airiline northwest-airlnine northwest-airliene sorthwest-airline northwest-airline notthwest-airline norxhwest-airline nortawest-airline northoest-airline northwhst-airline northwelt-airline northwesc-airline northwestqairline northwest-nirline northwest-anrline northwest-aitline northwest-airdine northwest-airlane northwest-airlife northwest-airline Grinning. He's really v. sweet, Mark Darcy, as well as being rocky smart. 'How come he came back to northwest airline England?' 'Well, sorry to northwest airline use a cliche, but I discovered his Achilles' heel.' 'What?' 'Don't say 'what,' Bridget, say 'pardon,' he said, and northwest airline I giggled. 'I realized that, although your mother is northwest airline the most impossible woman in the world, northwest airline loves her. He really northwest airline her.' Bloody Mum, I thought. How come she gets to northwest airline be northwest airline the irresistible sex goddess? Maybe I should go to northwest airline Color northwest airline Beautiful after all. 'So what did you do?' I said, sitting on my hands to northwest airline stop myself shouting 'What northwest airline me? me? Why northwest airline anyone love me?' 'I simply told him that she was spending Christmas with your dad, and, I'm afraid, that they'd be northwest airline sleeping in northwest airline same bed. I just had a feeling he was crazy enough, and northwest airline stupid enough, to northwest airline attempt to, er, undermine those.

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